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Day one: no coffee

Since there's no reason in the world for me to drink caffeine over this Easter month off I have decided to give up. As of yesterday at 1am, I am officially clean.

Some symptoms I have suffered from since then include:

Formless melancholy.
Headaches.
Sinus ache.
Inability to sleep (who saw that coming?)
Writer's block.
Sense of a general undercurrent of meaninglessness which used to exhilerate me and now makes me feel tired.

But yay the fresh invigorating breeze I can feel from the moral high ground.

Wish me luck.

By Taki at 14/04/2006 - 01:24 | Taki's blog

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Tea

Is the way ahead.

Tea welcomes people who have recanted the evil of coffee.

Tea doesn't have any caffeine in it, oh no: just sunlight and flowers and love and Kate Bush.

Embrace the tea
Embrace the tea
Embrace the tea

etc.

By Eddie the Gent at Fri, 14/04/2006 - 09:45 | login to post comments

Cafe Imperial

by Taylor's of Harrogate is what i'm drinking this morning as i cast my eye over this brave and fool hardy experiment. It concerncs me greatly, and i hope you are taking full precautions. When undergoing such an ordeal you should hve an Italian waiter and an Espresso machine nearby in case of any eventuality. Should your body go into shock then strong coffee can be applied before it is too late.

By Good Sir Johnny at Sun, 16/04/2006 - 08:53 | login to post comments

Unsolicited Testimonial

Is this product placement?

Are you angling for a free crate of tea?

Are you in the pay of the evil capitalist tea barons?

If so, I want in.

By Eddie the Gent at Sun, 16/04/2006 - 09:32 | login to post comments

Kirkstall Tea Party

Any free tea would be ceremoniously thrown into the cannel and all surrounding barges would be set on fire. I want a free crate of Hot Lava Java! (Copyright those genious people at Betty's)

(hint)

Down with tea, yey coffee blah blah blah

By Good Sir Johnny at Sun, 16/04/2006 - 14:27 | login to post comments

Day 3: no coffee

Headaches abating; replaced by a leaden-limbed lassitude and a sense of general unreality. Everything is blurred round the edges, like a watercolour in the rain. Shapes, tastes, textures, so much nonsense to be interpreted (or rejected noisily and colourfully at 5:31 am. this morning) by my nervous system. Shadows darting in and out of my peripheral vision. Sense of a viscous darkness closing in, rising like a tide mark, my movemements are slower, less effectual, I clawed blankly at my keychain this morning trying to get out of the house, away from those walls that close in, looming over me when they think I'm not looking. I went downstairs after throwing up my last attempt at nourishment, I picked up a teaspoon (must lobby to have them renamed coffeespoons) and I stared at, just stared and the universe ground to a halt around me, THE EARTH STOPPED TURNING and all there was existing: my gaze, my dark hot gaze, more potent than any espresso shot and the crackling, the static charge tangible in the unreal atmosphere of stupid o clock. There was me, looking at the spoon, it hanging unaided in the air, in the 3D calibration we call reality so easily manipulated after all, I was disappointed in the universe like I'd be surprised at being betrayed by a loyal old friend. so easily manipulated after all. The spoon hung, frozen, motionless and the walls flickered and died and there was just me and the spoon, hanging there, that inhuman static crackling wreathing us and that's how it must have looked when she came downstairs to get a drink of water and found us there in our most excellent moment together. There is no spoon? Nonsense. That's skirting the issue. Perhaps the spoon is all there is.

I don't need coffee.
I can bend time.
I have my gag reflex to keep me awake.

I'm going to go and polish my spoons.

By Taki at Mon, 17/04/2006 - 11:48 | login to post comments

Is this a spoon I see before me?

Come, let me clutch thee.

(And plunge you head first into boiling water.)

By Eddie the Gent at Mon, 17/04/2006 - 12:13 | login to post comments

Dying. Possibly...

oh god. Several things have happened to me recently which I thought I'd left in childhood.

First, I fell down the stairs and sustained severe bruising to my pride and my coccyx. Couldn't quite believe it at first...then it sunk in. I tried to jump straight to my feet before everyone scampered over to see if I was OK and made me all twitchy with their love and concern (gives me a rash...) and I think that's what did much of the damage.

Then, I threw up. hate hate hate it. Makes me cry and feel ten inches tall. It's funny how even a hardened pseudo-intellectual big mouth such as myself can be floored by the most simple reactions of the body to stimuli. I'm not convinced I should ever have had a body at all. It is the boss of me and it ain't fair Mac.

Thirdly, I am ill for the first time in about three years. I feel small and lost and helpless. Wish someone would hook me up with a blanket and some cartoons, perhaps a nice tall glass of Kia-Ora and some cereal.

Bloody mortality. Constantly held back by physical self. May go mad with the bed rest.

By Taki at Mon, 17/04/2006 - 17:40 | login to post comments

Brandy

It's the answer (to practically every question).

By Eddie the Gent at Tue, 18/04/2006 - 09:03 | login to post comments