freedom costs money - Johnny's Comments and Tangents

Stamping religion out of Christmas?

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 14:46:58 +0100

There is constant unrest between those on the two sides of the Christmas stamp divide. The what? I hear you ask. There’s a divide? A big one? Well no, but to some people apparently it matters, it raises fundamental questionS about Christmas in modern Britain. What are we celebrating? The birth of the son of God, by immaculate conception, in a stable… or the passing of the winter solstice, the lengthening of the days, the return of light and greenery.

The Race to shout "Racist!"

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 16:23:58 +0000

Complaints about racist behaviour broke all previous records over the Big brother program… People have called for Big Brother to be off the air, and channel 4 heads to role… And I too, it is worth adding, am furious… Not because of the racist behaviour, not because of Jade Goody (directly anyway) and not because my poor little mind can’t cope with what is happening… Because I’m now forced to come to the defence of BB, its existence and the things that were said on it… Not because I agree with there sentiment, but because it seems the whole country has utterly missed the point.

8 times...

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 18:00:00 +0000

Today i broke the common myth that no thing can be folded in half more than seven times. I folded soemthing eight times! I am a folding champion.

If you ask me i will do it again, i did not cheat of bend the rules in any way. We have been lied to!

No Nukes like Good Nukes

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 17:06:18 +0000

So we will be keeping our nuclear deterrent, its confirmed, by Blair, the Man, Mr Nuke… oh god what’s the point…

Blair’s rational for having a nuclear deterrent was fundamentally flawed on so many levels, he openly admitted that ours was the smallest of all “recognised” nuclear nations, of which Israel is still not one, and also that we only need three submarines, and one would always be on patrol. One sub, now I don’t want to base my logic on bond films or such but, how reliable is one submarine? How hard to find? We have all the risk and attention of a nuclear state but virtually none of the protection… we just have to hope that if someone decides at some point to twat us, they accept that our solitary submarine on patrol might get them if it knows where it came from etc… I know there are protocols etc but, really how is it an actual deterrent? Cameron liked the term minimum deterrent. But how much of a deterrent is that? Both parties argued that it was important for us to be strong and independent, but also that if we were to unilaterally disarm, it would mean nothing and no one would notice, or care

Nukes, HUH! - What are they good for?

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 17:01:19 +0100

You can’t really from the point of view of being one of the original Big Five nuclear powers, which, coincidentally make up the permanent members of the security council of the UN, and tell the rest of the world what to do. But this is of course coincidental and anyone who thinks that nuclear weapons bring with them any increase of global stature is misreading this coincidence with possible dangerous repercussions…

How to Condemn a Provocative Act and Love the Bomb...

Tue, 10 Oct 2006 18:56:21 +0100

Following the now almost certain Nuclear Test the U.N. are shedding their usual indecisive persona to seriously consider the possibility of maybe taking some kind of forthright action once all the opinions are on and we’re sure of what happened and everyone’s had a cup of tea and the Belgian delegation have had their consignment of chocolates returned to them, but by then its lunch time so, 1 hour recess, and an extra 20minutes prayer time for all those of a religious persuasion so that gets us on to about two o’clock, only its not, in London the stock markets are open so the British delegation, part of the security council, but only because it developed the nuclear bomb, one of the original five, has to take a break while they check on the strength of the pound and the waits to see if the Bank of England has raised interest rates. So somewhere in the region of 5pm someone quickly knocks up the following so as to look like all the money given to the U.N. is worth it.

Don't Panic

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 15:04:08 +0100

The most tyrannical isolated communist has tested a nuclear weapon causing an earth tremor of 3.5 on the rhictor scale; please try your best not to notice.

This may be difficult so here are some tips on how not to notice that Kim Jong Il now has The Bomb.

Jack Straw Anonymous

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 19:51:04 +0100

It’s an odd feeling and I’m not quite sure how I should react to it, but I agree with Jack Straw.

My name is John and I agree with Jack Straw.

“Hello John”

I’ve had the feeling for a while and wondered if I was prejudiced, I though there was something wrong with me, a basic and human distrust…

Gone By November

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 19:38:19 +0100

Seeya Tone, it was… errr, frustrating, disappointing, embarrassing, terrorising, cringe worthy, irritating, wasteful… yes wasteful… you had a mandate to change the country and you did fuck all with it, Brown got some good ones in but all you’ve done is sell off our infrastructure bit by bit… Now FUCK OFF!

Let My People Go...

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 15:25:40 +0100

For too long have we atheists been made to suffer for our beliefs… we are forced to pander to people who don’t want us to shop or cook on Sunday’s, people who attack our theatres and our playwrites, try to influence our television programming, control our media and put religious programming on always when I’m about to wake up.

Oi, You, Pay Tax on this Cloud!

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 12:58:54 +0100

This year, while climbing a coconut nut tree age old rocker, Keith Richards, failing to cling on with as much vigour as he does to his musical career, and banged his coconut hard, resulting in brain surgery…

Why the World Needs Alien Overlords

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 14:57:29 +0100

At the time of Writing Israel is about 12 hours into its 48hr ceasefire after it accidentally killed 58 people with a guided missile, because a militant non elected organisation kidnapped two soldier two weeks ago.

6 Days and 7 Nights

Wed, 19 Jul 2006 15:34:54 +0100

Today the Guardian reported “The US is giving Israel a window of a week to inflict maximum damage on Hezbollah before weighing in behind international calls for a ceasefire in Lebanon, according to British, European and Israeli sources.”

Hole in the head.

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 18:57:40 +0100

Will has inspired me to put some of my music lyrical musings on, this one is very very definitly about someone who always really irritiated me, sort off, well... its about assuming you know what people mean, when you don't.

Wireless festival Leeds - Who (the fuck) are you?

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 14:59:13 +0100

Good Question.

and Question 2 "WHO CARES?"

It was the Leeds Wireless festival at the weekend, and for the most part Leeds seems to have acquired the better line up, but due to some stupid decisions by the organisers this potentially fantastic day was blighted, and FCM left early.